How to deal with anger outbursts in children with ADHD

I used to feel like I’m walking on eggshells or land mine field around my daughter. I would take my time to compose my question before opening my mouth, so I don’t upset her. Because if I say something “wrong” or she interpreted it the wrong way, she’d fly off the handle.

She’d lash out at the smallest things, like asking her to get ready for bed, or stopping at the grocery store on the way home, or she noticed I used a different kind of oil in her noodle.

Every day is different. Someday she’s super sweet “mommy, I love you,” then, a few hours later, all of a sudden, the devil will come out. It’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde. I used to joke that she is bipolar.

So Does ADHD Cause Aggression or Anger Outbursts?

The primary symptoms of ADHD are hyperactivity, lack of focus, and poor memory. And most kids would also have other emotional symptoms, such as anger outbursts, emotional meltdowns, aggression, agitation, etc.

Coincidence? I don’t think so…

If you’ve been following me or read my book Eat to Focus, it all comes back to the brain delay and defect of the ADHD brain.

The ADHD brain is, on average, 2-3 years behind, so your 6 years old is actually acting emotionally at a 3-year-old level.

Also, the ADHD brain does not process glucose or sugar properly like a normal brain does. The normal human brain relies on glucose as the primary source of energy.

When your kid’s diet consists of mainly processed empty calories, those so-called “healthy snacks” (fruit snacks, goldfish crackers, granola bar, cheerios), their brains are stuck with no fuel.

So now you basically have a starving 3-year-old brain, so what would you expect when you tell this 3-year-old starving brain that he or she cannot have candy before bed.

You got the idea?

The other issue is what I call the "gut feeling."  


Even though conventional ADHD treatment often focuses on treating what’s happening in the brain, most explosive and aggressive behaviors seem to stem from the gut.

In recent years, scientists have discovered the connection between gut bacteria and many psychiatric and neurodevelopmental disorders, such as autism spectrum disorders, ADHD, depression, anorexia nervosa, and Rett syndrome.

They found that brain chemical imbalances may actually originate in the gut, causing the more aggressive and explosive symptoms of ADHD.

Scientists learned that the gut is actually talking with the big brain (aka central nervous system that includes the brain and spinal cord) continuously through hormonal, immune, and nervous systems.

The gut bacteria do not live for free in our intestines. They pay rent by making precursors that the big brain can use to produce brain chemicals, such as dopamine, noradrenaline, and serotonin, that help calm the ADHD brain.

Scientists are now learning more about the gut-brain connection and have concluded that our gut is possibly the second brain.

Does your ADHD child suffer from stomach pain, bedwetting, fecal incontinence, diarrhea, loose stool, or constipation?

Does your ADHD child also have food allergies or intolerance, asthma, ear infections, and unexplained skin rash?

Or does your child crave milk, cheese, sugar, bread, noodles, pasta, crackers, or any carbs?

Chances are all these symptoms are related and can all be traced back to the gut imbalance.

Digestion issues, such as constipation, diarrhea, bedwetting, fecal incontinence, are very common among children with ADHD.

A study of more than 700,000 children found that children with ADHD are 3 times more likely to have chronic constipation and six times more likely to have fecal incontinence than kids without ADHD.

Recurrent and frequent antibiotic use for ear infection destroys good gut bacteria. This can cause yeast and bacterial overgrowth, resulting in hyperactivity, anger, irritability, mood swings, poor memory, poor attention, sleep problem, and other inappropriate behaviors.

Children with ADHD are also more likely to have allergies (immune-mediated) disorders such as food allergy, asthma, and atopic dermatitis (eczema).

75% of the body’s immunity is in the gut. It is host to over 1,000 different species of bacteria, known as the ‘gut microbiome. Each individual’s bacterial makeup is different.

That’s a big deal.

There are 3-4 pounds of bacteria in the gut working diligently for us. These bacteria help to move food through the intestine, ease food cravings and regulated appetite, keep intestine lining healthy and intact, activate the gut-based immune system, make hormones, vitamin Bs, and vitamin K, and boost absorption of nutrients.

The intestine needs a combination of both good and bad bacteria to do all these. When the intestinal gut balance is disrupted and out-of-balance, mental and physical health issues, such as anxiety, depression, and even cancer, can happen.

Aside from being painful and uncomfortable, gut issues have been shown to profoundly affect those with autism, which often shares very similar behavioral issues as those with ADHD. GI symptoms were related to behavioral problems, including social withdrawal, irritability, and repetitive behaviors.

Another recent study shows that probiotics intake is associated with improved depressive symptoms, anger, and fatigue in children with ADHD.

And these are the reasons why there is no one single ADHD treatment that works. No one supplement or diet works to correct all these. A genuinely successful ADHD treatment involves multiple steps that address each of the underlying causes.

4 Simple Steps to Stop Anger Outburst & Emotional Meltdowns in Kids with ADHD

I’m no parenting expert, but I will focus mostly on the biochemical side since we now know the brain and gut origin of these anger outbursts.

First of all, you need to remain calm.

You can’t fight fire with fire. 

Give your child space and let him or her know you’re listening. And make sure your child and not hurting himself or herself and anyone else.

And set boundaries and consequences. They don’t get what they want with screaming, yelling, and destroying things. They’ll have to be responsible for their actions and have consequences, such as cleaning up the mess or have privilege taken away.

Treat them the way you want to be treated – with respect and compassion.  

Remember, a lot of times they don’t feel good being angry too. They cannot control their emotions. You know that. Being angry is not a good feeling.

Now let’s get to the fun part – fixing it. These are the 4 steps to help stop anger outburst in kids with ADHD:

  1. Start clean and eliminate all trouble foods and artificial food additives that interfere with brain chemicals.
  2. Feed the ADHD Brain with food that the body recognizes and fuels the brain and makes brain chemicals.
  3. Feed the ADHD Gut to correct the overwhelmed gut-brain connection.
  4. Brain reboot with activities to help create new brain wiring to function normally with the correct pathways.

Ok, there you have it…

I hope you find this information helpful. Let me know what you think and comment below. 

Remember ADHD does not doom your child to a life of under-achievement. You know your child is bright, full of potential, and deserves the best. In fact, many of the world’s greatest discoveries and inventions were made by people with ADHD.

I helped my crazy wild child who couldn’t read or write when she was little overcome her learning difficulties, and become a merit scholarship student majoring in premed at Loyola Chicago University.

So don’t give up, everything is possible. 

If you’re just starting out on this natural ADHD treatment journey and still in the research phase, check out my new book Eat to Focus.

Inside this book, you’ll learn why your ADHD child is always hungry, why he or she seems addicted to milk and bread, the reason why most ADHD treatments do not work, and the exact four strategies I’ve used for my daughter to help her calm down to focus and finally learn normally. 

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Anna

Clean Eating Officer (CEO) at Malama Wellness + Hypnotherapy
I'm Anna, a passionate dietitian and hypnotherapist dedicated to helping parents of kids with ADHD unlock the transformative potential of healthy eating and holistic approaches. With years of experience in pediatric nutrition and a focus on mind-body connection, I provide personalized guidance and practical tools to support positive behavioral changes and nurture your child's well-being.
I'm Anna, a passionate dietitian and hypnotherapist dedicated to helping parents of kids with ADHD unlock the transformative potential of healthy eating and holistic approaches. With years of experience in pediatric nutrition and a focus on mind-body connection, I provide personalized guidance and practical tools to support positive behavioral changes and nurture your child's well-being.

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