Imagine going to school every day feeling different, unimportant, and out of place. Your classmates are reading at grade level, with good grades, raising their hands, answering questions, and engaging appropriately.
But your ADHD child, on the other hand, is being frequently reminded to “be quiet” or “sit down please,” “stop, or else you’ll be punished.”
And because they are behind, they might fear being called on by teachers and never want to offer the answer, fear of being judged by their peers or teachers, and fear of being called on to answer a question they don’t know the answer to.
Some of these negative comments children with ADHD are exposed to are rejection because they don’t fit in—not being invited to birthday parties, no one coming to their birthday parties, no one picking them on their team during recess, and having no friends.
These are all forms of rejection. Our human survival instincts rely on being accepted and connected to our family (tribe). If you’re constantly feeling rejected, feeling out of place, the emotional response is bigger and more intense.
It’s estimated that children with ADHD are exposed to 20,000 more negative comments than their peers by age 12.
RSD is a trauma response in which a person feels extreme emotional sensitivity and pain due to perceived or actual rejection, teasing, or criticism. RSD is not a part of ADHD; it is the trauma response to the negative upbringing of children with ADHD. Trauma does not have to be physical or sexual or traumatic in nature. Any repeated exposure to events that is emotional enough to change how the child perception of themselves or the world around them is an adverse traumatic experience.
Not too long ago, people could actually die of rejection when you get banished from their tribe. So humans are hard-wired to the belief that “rejection could kill me.” That’s why many of us still live with the fear of rejection, and it feels like “dying.”
However, in today’s world, you could live by yourself and have everything and grocery delivered by Amazon and Whole Foods, and not see a soul and live until 120.
That’s not the most ideal, but we don’t die from rejection anymore even though we still feel like we will.
Especially for people with ADHD, who may be more susceptible to RSD. Instead of asking why, we should be asking, “what happened to you?”
When you’re repeatedly being punished for being a child growing up, all those seemingly small punishments add up over time and create a brain connection that becomes stuck in the stress fight-or-flight response state. This explains why some kids with ADHD and even adults with ADHD get super sensitive when being criticized or judged. This also explains why some individuals with ADHD can’t focus because their brain is still living in fight-or-flight mode preparing for an attack.
Hypnotherapy is an excellent therapy option for resolving childhood trauma or past traumatic response, by looking back into back events to eradicate old limiting beliefs that created the self-sabotage behaviors today.
Hypnosis is also an excellent therapy for correcting habits that require mindset changes, such as weight loss, studying, motivation, confidence, self-esteem, anxiety, depression, addiction, bad habits, etc.
That’s it…
I hope you find this information helpful. Let me know what you think and comment below.
Remember ADHD does not doom your child to a life of under-achievement. You know your child is bright, full of potential, and deserves the best. In fact, many of the world’s most significant discoveries and inventions were made by people with ADHD.
I helped my crazy wild child who couldn’t read or write when she was little, overcome her learning difficulties and become a merit scholarship student majoring in premed at Loyola Chicago University.
So don’t give up; everything is possible.
