Eating involves all 5 sense – how the food looks, how it smells, how it feels (when touching with your hands and how it feels into your mouth), how it tastes, and how it sounds (when you bite or chew).

Think of the most disgusting things that someone ask you to eat. Think poop. Do you want to look at it? Do you want to touch it? Do you want to smell it?

That’s right. If you can’t even stand to the sight of the food or touching that food, it will not be consumed.

That’s how your child think of the food you want him/her to try. I know you’re not feeding your child poison, but that’s what’s going on in your child’s head. He/She has already made a conscious decision about that food.

Your job as the parent is to change his/her thought about eating of that particular food. Kids would do anything when it’s fun, so your job is to make eating fun. Hopefully, he/she will start associating eating with fun memories and slowly forget about the old rules.

This mealtime companion may help your child become more adventurous with new food. 

Parent always say, “My child tried broccoli and did not like it.” 

My response is, “How many times did you try it?”

Parents have the misconception that if the child spits out the food or makes face that means they don’t like it, and never serve that food again.

That’s not true.

In infants, they spit out food because it is a new texture for them. They’ve been on a full liquid diet since birth, now you’re giving them something thicker, of course, they need time to adjust. 

Toddlers just don’t have the manners to politely swallow the food even if they don’t know yet. 

Remember when your children say “no” to everything? They don’t know what they’re talking about. They say “no” because they hear you say is all the time. 

Kids do things to get attention and reaction from parents. 

Spitting out food or grimacing just means your child did not like the food today. Try it another time, prepare it differently and make it fun. 

Parents always complain that their children would eat French fries, but not baked or mashed potatoes. Or would eat applesauce, but not apple slices.

To an adult, they are the same food – potatoes or apple. To a child, they are different food. Your young toddler does not know they’re all potatoes because they are just cognitively not there yet to realize.

They look different, taste different, and they eat differently, and therefore, they are different.

As adult, when we try a new food, we mean taking a bite, chewing and swallowing the food even if it tastes bad. In some occasions, you may spit it out if it’s really gross.

I just have some salad that did not taste all that great, but I chewed and tasted it, and finally swallowed it despite the bad taste.

In children, you have to change your expectation. The definition of trying may mean really just an attempt, such as touching the food, smelling it, kissing, licking, or if your child takes a bite and spit it out. That’s fine too.

I have many parents who told me how they absolutely would not eat certain vegetables because they were forced to eat them when they’re young. Please don’t repeat history. Learn from your own experience. Kids love candies and cakes not because they taste great, but because of the fun and joy associated with it. 

Kids don’t like vegetables because you never hear any parent says, “If you stop crying, I’ll give you a broccoli.” But what you hear a lot is, “Eat your broccoli, otherwise, you’re not leaving the table.”

Parents subconsciously introduce the idea that candies are fun and broccoli sucks. Of course, cakes are great because they’re always decorated and surrounded by fun people and activities. Who doesn’t love cake?

You don’t necessarily need to make meal time a party every day, but at least make it fun and hands on. Kids love touching with their hands and cause-and-effect activities. Let them eat with their hands, smear food on dinner plates and on themselves, build towers, stick people, etc. Let them smell the food, kiss it, lick it. Take a tiny bite and spit out. That’s all totally fine.

To most children, eating is just another activity, just like doodling, watching TV, reading, dancing, etc. For them, they are not getting as much enjoyment out of eating than, say, riding a bike. So eating is just not a priority. They want something more stimulating.

You can turn eating into an activity by getting your child involve in the shopping, meal planning and preparation. Give them age-appropriate task to help. Let them get hands-on with food, such as taking food out from refrigerator, mixing sauces or salads, cut fruits and veg with plastic knives, etc.

Related: 10 Kid-friendly Healthy Slow Carb Snack Ideas

True story…one day my daughter ask to bring a jar of Nutella to school. Curious, I asked why because she does not eat Nutella. She told me that she and her friends were each bringing something from home and mixing all the food together into a concoction and eat it.

When I picked her up from school that day, she gave me a rundown of the all the food on their list. As she went through the list, I couldn’t stop thinking why she would eat that “disgusting” mix than that food that I meticulously prepared for her. Then it dawned on me…it’s because it is FUN.

My daughter is still very picky to this day, which forces her to be more involved in meal planning so she can make her own food when she doesn’t like what I make. Again, I don’t want to fight. I just want to enjoy a pleasant meal every day.

The saving grace is that my daughter loves fruits and vegetables. She doesn’t eat all them, but she has enough variety. So I’m happy.

Give up your control, drop your expectations and let them be. Eating should be enjoyable for the whole family.

Take your child with you to grocery shopping. Have you child help with meal preparation in the kitchen. Turn these activities into fun family activities rather than treating these as chores. Give them a sense of control by letting them pick from 2 predetermined healthy choices. 

Avoid frequent snacking throughout the day. Imagine yourself eating a few bites of food every couple hours, would you feel hungry at meals. 

Many parents are so concern with their child “not eating” that they overcompensate by allowing their children free range to the pantry. Children end up eating all day long and, of course, they’re not hungry at meal times for real food. 

If you want your child to eat “real food”, then you need to restrict snacks to only 1-2 times a day. And avoid snacking an hour before meals.

It’s okay for your child to be hungry. Parents are so afraid that their children are hungry. Hunger is a normal human sense just like thirst and other feelings. Children needs to learn the sense of hunger and how to appropriately response to it.

Assuming you’ve put your children on a strict meal and snack schedule, your child should be hungry at meal times now. So take advantage of this hunger and offer real foods you want your child to try. Hunger is your friend, offer new food when your child is hungry. You know you’re less picky when you’re hungry.

Don’t let your child fill up with liquids, that’ll ruin your plan. Liquids should be only for hydration and not a substitute for nutrition. If your child depends heavily on liquid nutrition, your child need a medical evaluation.

So many parents make the mistake of making their children sit at the table for an hour, sometimes up to 2 hours, in hope that their children will finish their food.

I’m guilty too…I used to make my daughter sat at the table until she finishes her last teeny bite of chicken with tears running down her cheeks. Poor child…I didn’t know better back then. 

It’s not pleasant for you or your child or you. It turns mealtime into a battle. And everyone is angry and frustrated. 

Let me tell you this strategy does not work. The longer your children sit at the table the more everyone become frustrated and the more your child will not eat. This only creates more tension at meal time.

Sing with me: “let it go…let it go…turn away and slap the (bathroom) door!”

Monkey see, monkey do.

Many parents tell me, “my child only interested in the food on my plate, even if I gave him or her the same food I have on his or her plate.”

Why?

Because they see how much you’re enjoying your food, that’s why they want your food. They’re too young to realize that they have the same food on their plate.

If they see you grimace at eating healthy food, they’ll learn to do the same.

It’s totally okay for your child to reject the food initially. It’s just that the sight, the taste, the texture are unfamiliar.

It’s also okay if your child coughs, chokes or gags with new food. Stay calm as long as your child is not turning blue.

Your panicking can alarm your child and they may think something is wrong with them.

Every child is different. That’s why you have children who are picky and some who are not. Some find more enjoyment in eating than others.

• Autism

• Sensory processing disorder

• Developmental disorders

• Food allergies

• Gastrointestinal disorders

• Constipation

Working with kids in the last 20 years, and seeing many thousands of “picky eaters,” here are the signs that I look for when assessing a potential picky eater who needs a referral to feeding therapy or a developmental pediatrician for further evaluation.

• dislikes hands getting dirty
• refuses to touch food with hands
• dislikes walking on sand or grass
• dislikes tags on clothing
• eats only a specific texture food, such as prefers only pureed foods, or prefers only dry crunchy foods
• eats food of only bland color, such as white, beige, orange color food. 
• gags or vomit at the sight or smell of food
• coughs, chokes or gags with eating or drinking
• frequent respiratory infection/illness

Parenthood is the most beautiful thing. You bring a new human being into this world and the most rewarding thing you can do for this little person is to nourish his/her body, mind, and soul.

Treat your child like how you’d like to be treated, and everything will be fine.

Ok, there you have it…

I hope you find this information helpful. Let me know what you think and comment below.

Remember ADHD does not doom your child to a life of under-achievement. You know your child is bright, full of potential, and deserves the best. In fact, many of the world’s most significant discoveries and inventions were made by people with ADHD.

I helped my crazy wild child who couldn’t read or write when she was little, overcome her learning difficulties and become a merit scholarship student majoring in premed at Loyola Chicago University.

So don’t give up; everything is possible.

If you’re just starting on this natural ADHD treatment journey and still in the research phase, check out my new book, Eat to Focus.