Accomplishing household chores give the child with ADHD a sense of pride and build confidence with a little boost of dopamine for the brain. Kids with ADHD often feel inadequate from experiences of disappointments, failures, and frustrations. They need something to help them learn that they matter, and they can be helpful too. It is critical to help children understand that they are an important part of the family.

Chores also teach your child to be a team player, work hard, and work with others to contribute to the common good. 

Doing chores also gives your child the opportunity to learn to problem solve, organize and plan steps to accomplish a task. This is super important in kids with ADHD to help them train the brain, especially the executive function. 

Doing chores also helps your child to learn to cope with life’s challenges, which, in turn, helps build self-confidence, resilience and independence.  These are characteristics that will help them navigate life challenges without fear of rejection and failure.

My daughter has always been a picky eater and thinks my food sucks. So early on, I taught her how to cook because I’m tired of her complaining about my cooking. Okay, maybe more like how to use kitchen stove, oven, etc. Since then, she would be in charge of the creation of dinner. I’ll pick up the grocery she needs and do dishes. 

And she takes pride in that because she’d look up recipes making complicated dishes from scratch. 

Choose chores that are suited to your child’s age, ability, and personal interests. Focus on tasks that your child can do and enjoy doing. The idea is that your child should feel stimulated and fulfilled.   

Clarify the chore to be completed. Then explain the chore to your ADHD child in small steps. Do it together the first few times. Don’t expect your child to know how to do a load of laundry just because he or she saw you did it thousands of times before. 

Let’s say you want your seven-year-old to take responsibility for setting the dinner table. Together, count out the number of plates and the number of forks, knives, and spoons needed. Then show him or her when the dishes and utensils are in the kitchen. Next, show him or her how to put the silverware in the correct places, followed by the napkins and glassware. Before you know it, your child can set the table.

Children with ADHD are usually visual learners, so writing the instructions down on paper helps more than verbal instruction. Post the written instruction at the place when they usually get the tools, such as the cleaning supply closet.

Knowing the basics doesn’t mean he is ready to take full responsibility for the job. Your child will still probably need reminders and some supervision before he is able to complete the task on his own. Even preschoolers can do simple chores like putting away toys or putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket.  

One last crucial thing. 

Explain the chore idea to your child in a calm, matter-of-fact way instead of sounding like a punishment. Instead of “go clean your filthy room,” or “pick up your toys,” or “do the dishes now or I’ll —,” say, “let’s clean your room together,” or “would you help me clean up your toys,” or “let’s do dishes, then we’ll read a book together.”

Kids with ADHD need a lot of encouragement because most don’t feel competent with all the negative experiences they observe from school and peers. Offer encouragement and praise for his or her efforts, even if they don’t measure up to your expectations, which should be dialed down many notches for your child.

Don’t forget to make it fun. Even if he or she made a mistake, laugh it off. 

One of the thousands of jobs as a parent is to raise an independent and contributing member of society. Having your child help out around the house is like an internship preparing him or her for something bigger in their future life. Not to mention freeing up your time, so you can be less stressed and more present for your family when they need you. 

Okay, there you have it…

I hope you find this information helpful. Let me know what you think and comment below. 

Remember, ADHD does not doom your child to a life of under-achievement. You know your child is bright, full of potential, and deserves the best. In fact, many of the world’s most significant discoveries and inventions were made by people with ADHD.

I helped my crazy wild child, who couldn’t read or write when she was little, overcome her learning difficulties and become a merit scholarship student majoring in premed at Loyola Chicago University.

So don’t give up; everything is possible. 

If you’re just starting on this natural ADHD treatment journey and still in the research phase, check out my new book, Eat to Focus to get started.

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