by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
I got this books couple years back...but only recently I started reading it because my teenager has turned into a monster.
Every day is a fight of the will…whoever has the strongest will wins. I lost many battles already, such as bathing. But others I stand my ground, such as brushing and flossing, doing dishes and taking out trash.
It was constant nagging every night and asking her is like talking to a time bomb. You don’t know when she’ll flip…until I start using some of the strategies described in the book.
I also realized that as a parent, I’m treating my child differently than other people’s kids. I’m a pediatric dietitian, I work with kids everyday. I don’t yell at those kids when they come back with 5lbs weight gain in a month, or the skinny kids who keep losing weight.
I focus on what went well instead of what they didn’t do or achieve.
The book made me realized what I did wrong, and I have the skills to do it. It just that as parent you have different expectation from your child. You want to be sure you’re doing the right thing now, so you don’t screw up their lives later. So we became pushy and forget that we’re just their coach in their to coach them along making the best decision ON THEIR OWN.
Now I started focusing on all the little things that she did well. It’s pathetic, but I have say, every time I speak to her, I have to think how would I have said, if she’s one of my kiddo patients, and I rehearse in the head first. Let me tell you, it takes some adjusting. But the results is worth it.
May I say the last couple nights, she has been brushing and flossing her teeth, doing dishes, taking out trash, finishing homework by 10pm ALL ON HER OWN without me nagging.
Thank you GOD!!!